One thing that I've realized while living in China is that there are many seasons. I know, I know. You're all thinking, it took her moving to China to figure that out. Just stick with me. The thing that brought me to this realization is "motorcycle season". In Utah, we wait all winter for the first beautiful spring day so that we can take out our motorcycles, bicycles, atvs, etc. (You get the idea.) In China, it doesn't matter what the weather is like, it's always "motorcycle season". It doesn't matter if it's snowing, raining, windy, hot and humid. The people of China are always on their scooters, motorcycles, and bicycles. This is the only mode of transportation for a large portion of the population. They find ways to make it work. Layers and layers of clothing are worn during the winter. When it rains they have "rain jackets" that cover them as well as their scooter with a "window" for the scooter headlight. I've seen people in casual clothing, business clothing, and even formal wear (heals included) as they ride their scooters to their destination. I've realized that just like "motorcycle season", some seasons in our lives are limited, like "motorcycle season" in Utah, and some seasons in our lives last forever, like "motorcycle season" in China.
One of my forever seasons are the experiences that I'm having while living in China. I will always have these memories and be able to take them with me throughout my life. One of my seasonal seasons is actually living here in China. It will not be a forever thing.
Some of the things that have been hard in China have been giving up my "comforts". When we moved here we only planned on living here for a year. So, we packed as though we were going on an extended vacation. We left the majority of our things behind, things that we could easily do without for a year. Now that our time here has been extended, it is hard not to miss what we left behind. We can't access our things in storage until we move back. It was hard to buy all new maternity clothes when I have a whole box in storage. It has also been hard to start all over with baby stuff when I know I have all of the equipment in storage. I have greatly missed my rocking chair when Declan has been sick or suffered from jet lag, and as I think about the new baby to come. I miss my scrapbooking stuff and other craft stuff that gave me a creative outlet. I know it's just "stuff" but it's still hard.
Another thing I miss is my "freedoms". Don't get me wrong, I appreciate our driver and our ayi (helper), but I miss those responsibilities at times. I miss being able to jump in the car and run to the store whenever I want to. I miss having stores that have everything in them instead of having to run from one small shop to another to get everything I need and still coming up short sometimes. I miss being able to get in the kitchen whenever I want to to make food. Now, I have to work somewhat around the ayi's schedule. I miss being able to do whatever wash I want to do whenever I want to do it (again the ayi's schedule). I miss understanding the people around me and the signs, store titles, menus, ads, etc. (I know, learn the language, but it's harder than you think, especially with pregnancy brain. I'm working on it, but it's not coming as quickly and easily as I'd like.)
(Okay, now that I'm done with my pity party, let's move back to the seasons of life. :) )
Another one of my forever seasons is being a mother. I will always be a mother. One of my seasonal seasons is actually having children. I had a season of having girls, and now I'm in my boy season. I guess once we figured out the boy formula, the girl formula has been lost. It is no longer the girl season for us.
Being a daughter is a forever season for me. I will always be my mother's daughter, but having my mother here with me is a seasonal season. I know one day this season will return though.
One day as I was sitting on a train to Shanghai, I was reading some church material (scriptures, conference talks) and I realized that it is up to me whether or not I want this to be a forever season for me or a seasonal season for me. It is up to me to choose if I want religion to always be a part of my life or just for a season. I then realized that the people of China do not have this option in the same way that I do. If a local Chinese person on the train had asked me what I was reading and if they could look at it. I would have to tell them no because the government won't let me share this with you. They would've understood and not asked me any more questions. That's how the government in China works. It made me sad to realize that the season for the choice of any religion is not even an option in Chinese citizens' lives right now. Hopefully this season will come to the Chinese people soon, the season to choose or not choose religion, but to at least to have an option. (And just to put any rumors to rest, this season is not here yet.)
I am grateful for all of the seasons in my life, whether they last a lifetime or just for a short moment. There is so much to learn from them. And just like the people of China during "motorcycle season", I hope that I can find ways to "weather" every season in my life.
Alauna
